Craigslist Chopper Follies

A buddy of mine sent me a link to a Craigslist posting that was in response to a whining troll post about choppers. Highly amusing. I would link them here, but they both got community moderated off the list pretty quickly. I did grab the text from one before it went away though. The whole affair was so comical and common that I just cant help but comment.

First of all posting a troll post to CL just about guarantees it being moderated away. The place is for buying and selling stuff. Folks get grouchy if you try to start a flame war there. Second, responding to the troll not only encourages the troll, but it makes your post go away faster because people really hate it when you respond and turn want ads into discussion.

Thirdly...the subject is a dusty antique.

I have to paraphrase the chopper dude because it got modded away before I thought to copy the text. The gist of it was a none too shabby gripe that the reason so many chops have such low mileage is because of the new money posers. The credit card outlaw bikers.

Allrighty then. First off chopper guy...I *like* choppers. Too trendy for me to go making my own right now. But I dig them. And the ones I dig the most are the ones that are indeed built at home by creative minds, lots of labor and often a small budget. Mad props especially to the ones who not only do that but then have the nads to actually take something they built onto public roads. I know from my own salad days that there were somethings I did to my bikes that really had no business ever exiting my garage.

But let's be real here, chopper guy. Choppers are by design solely for getting attention. They are made to look a certain way. So why should you be surprised that such an attention whore design gets co-opted by attention whores trying to out whore eachother by building ass jewelery with cubic bucks? Really now. Lets be honest with ourselves. And this isnt unique to choppers. The race bike boys do the same thing. They throw bags of cash at a new hotness race rep each year and immediately stuff every gew-gaw on it that is supposed to make it faster but really just gives them another something to flap jaws about after yet another 5 mile run up High Bridge Road. You think those asstards wouuld know an apex if you put a flashing sign on it? Hell no. Thats just the reality of the world.We all get our sacred secret loves co-opted at some point by the chuckleheads out there. Might be punk music, wine making, fine scotch, old hotrods or even...bikes. Relax. The fad will pass and there will be
acres of projects available for a song.

Speaking of chuckleheads - here is the post that started it:

"I ride a metric cruizer. Put 15,000 miles on my bike in 5 years so I am a moderate rider. Why do I always see these choppers...... always over priced with less than 1000 miles on them? I don't get it.

$25,000++ on a motorcycle that is too loud or stretched out to ride? Thats not counting the fancy riding clothes that are only worn after they unload the bike off the trailer outside of the town that hosts the rally. And those engineer boots. What is that about?

Really.... I am just a dumb jap rider that doesn't know why. Help me out here so I can get with the program."

Ignoring that he is a whining little troll boy for a moment...lets focus on the few facts he presents

1) Cruiser
2) 15,000 miles in 5 years

lets have a look at the cruiser. Y'know I dont give one half of one shit who makes it. but you had best know the history of the kind of bike you are riding before you go slagging off others. That cruiser you got there is modeled after HD cruisers who made thier cruisers in response to the choppers of the 60s and 70s. A cruiser is simply a softened, mass produced chop watered down for those of you who want to tentatively play at being a "biker". Judging by your tone, I'm betting you Werent accepted when you tried to ingratiate yourself with some riders. Couldnt hack the disgust they displayed when you rolled over on your back, wagging your tail and pissing on your belly "Hey I ride. It's just a jap bike. I'm saving up for a harley" yeah, I have encountered your sort before. Dont have the balls to just ride your ride and enjoy it, no matter what anyone else thinks. You gotta whine when others dont pet you and praise you,

15,000 miles in 5 years? That isnt "moderate" that is fucking pathetic. You are no better than the chopper posers you are crying about. 3000 miles a year? Boy, you are barely making it out of the driveway of your issaquah ridge McHouse. Assuming you do ride every single weekend for a year you do what...60 miles? 60 miles...hey that is a round trip from issaquah or seattle to downtown snohomish! Oh I know you. Oh yeah. I see you idling up and down first street in snohomish on the weekends, out on your "big weekend ride". Dont even start referring to yourself as a rider until you are putting down that mileage and more per YEAR. A student riding a scooter to classes every day puts down more miles than you do and therefore has more experience and better skills than you do. "moderate rider" my sagging scrotum. You dont even have enough down to call yourself an enthusiast or even a hobbyist. Yeah we all start someplace. And maybe in a few years, if you dont pick up some other "hobby" you
might be able to criticise. But now? You havent earned the right to do anything more than shut up, listen and put down miles.

And what's your beef with engineer boots? Mad because you cant find any with a Kawasaki logo?